Phone Book Opt-In: So Close Yet So Far

Post and photos by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

Since Ed Kohler of The Deets recruited me as a fellow anti-phone book crusader, the dead tree impact of these makeshift booster chairs and sofa legs has diminished.  It's pretty rare to see them littered at vacant houses anymore, or worse yet, dumped directly into alleys.  One solution both Ed and I have called for is an opt-in system.  Instead of the current system where you can opt out of phone books, (which by the way, vacant houses can't really do) you would only receive a phone book if you specifically requested one.

The door hanger appeared to specifically set up the opt-IN process, until I looked at my feet to see yet another phone book that will simply make its way to the recycling bin.  I'm still trying to figure out how this phone book got left at the doorstep, and I'm picturing the delivery crew putting the door hanger in place, then counting "ONE Mississippi, TWO Mississippi, THREE Mississippi...well, he hasn't opted out.  Time to leave a book or two and check off the address as another satisfied customer."

How about this arrangement, Dex?  When I need extra insulation for my house, or kindling for a bonfire, or a counterweight for land mines or booby traps, or really REALLY bad wallpaper, or a paperweight that is also a meta-paperweight, or reading material for an internet cafe on April Fools' Day, or a phone-book-armored car (how cool is THAT?!), then I will call YOU.  Deal?

The Battle Against Phone Book Dumping Continues

Post and photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

For well over two years, I have battled my nemesis, the Dumpinator 3000, a heartless, faceless villain intent on littering unwanted phone books (and at times, the New York Times) throughout NoMi.  My recovery from Dumpinator-related injuries wasn't always easy, but gradually the Dumpinator lost its power.  In a small, yet significant victory for the Hawthorne Hawkman, the Dumpinator and its minions have largely ceased dropping phone books off at vacant properties.

Instead, the Dumpinator dumped eleven phone books at the corner of 22nd Avenue North and 4th Street North.  The Hawkmobile had an extra heavy-duty garbage bag left over from cleaning up garbage on 4th St.  The waterlogged books weighed down the bag almost to the breaking point, but left the Hawkman undaunted.  And so the increasingly feeble efforts of the Dumpinator 3000 were vanquished yet again.

(And yes, a call to the Yellowbook offices on Monday is in order.)

Dex is Getting Better

Post and photos by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

Well, it's that time of year again.  Phone books are getting dropped off at people's homes whether they want them or not, and also whether the houses are technically occupied by people or not.  I've made an issue out of phone books at vacant properties before, even to the point of bringing them back to the Dex headquarters.  Earlier in the week, a northside neighbor and I were commiserating about how he had been seeing phone books at vacant properties, AGAIN, and that he had STILL received phone books even though he opted out of them some time ago.

So when both Hawthorne and Jordan had their clean sweeps today, I made a point of looking at vacant properties where anyone had left phone books.  What I saw was...

Vacant Houses Can't Opt Out of Phone Books

Post and photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman

Earlier this morning, a Minneapolis resident posted a phone book opt-out link on the Minneapolis Issues Forum.  This link allows you to opt out of receiving three phone books:  Dex, Supermedia, and Yellowbook.  I opted out and it took me roughly five minutes.  Ed Kohler of The Deets has made phone books somewhat of a personal crusade.  And we're  not the only ones who have an issue with the phone book litter problem.

Opting out of phone books does indeed help reduce waste, but we're still left with the problem of inattentive delivery people who consistently leave these piles of garbage at clearly vacant properties.  If the city of Minneapolis would enforce the littering penalties (look at the bottom of page six of the link) and start charging the phone book companies $80 per book left at a vacant unit, then maybe I wouldn't need to spend my free time picking them up myself.  Since I have a working Blackberry, an internet connection, and a couch with all four legs firmly in place, I have no need for these wastes of paper.  If that ever changes, well, I can just go to the nearest vacant house and likely find several books that will suit my needs.