The 19-Vote Victory

Post and stock photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

In the game of cribbage, nineteen points is an impossible score.  When a player gets a worthless hand with zero points, the running joke among experts and novices alike is that they pegged nineteen points.  So when Raymond Dehn led Terra Cole by nineteen votes after a series of last-minute dirty campaign tricks, the card player in me immediately compared his margin to that point total in cribbage.

I have been so disgusted by what I have seen over the past week that I have gone so far as to call the victory "illegitimate."  That word was chosen carefully, as there is no way that I could more strongly articulate my distaste for the final days of the campaign in 59B.  But if all I wanted to do was complain about who won, or hurl insults across the political aisle, then frankly it would be best for me and others like me to be silent.  There will come a time--soon--where it will be appropriate for everyone to set aside differences and accept whatever the results of this election are.  That time has not yet arrived.

Before we get there, I believe several things need to happen.  First off...

311 Mobile App Still Glitchy

Post and photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

I love the ability to report issues to 311 with a few taps of a button and swipes on a screen, but the connection between my phone and the system is inconsistent at best.  As reported on Johnny Northside, my first several attempts at using the app were rather anti-climactic.  I would consistently get the message, "Connection Error Occurred.  Unable To Finish Uploading R..."  I recently had my phone system wiped and restored, so I know it's not my individual phone that's having problems.  At times, I've submitted a report repeatedly because of connection problems, only to get multiple confirmations of the same submission.

Earlier today, I attempted to report graffiti at 3120 Emerson Avenue North, and got this message three times.  I have yet to successfully submit this report.

The other problem I'm encountering with the system is more of a question of semantics.  311 mobile app reports are handled through a site called SeeClickFix.  There are a series of choices for what kind of issue you'd like to report, but often things like a cracked sidewalk or deflated balloons/moldy teddy bears/empty liquor bottles around a tree don't fit into the simpler categories.  There's the catch-all "other issues" button for that.  But then when that report gets submitted, someone at 311 has to assign it to the proper department.  Once that assignment has been made, SeeClickFix sends out a notification that the issue has been "resolved."

But "resolved" to me and to most people means resolved.  As in the problem no longer exists because somebody did something to resolve it.  I like the notification that it's been properly assigned, but the app would work better if the notifications that get sent out are more accurate in their depiction of where the issue is in the resolution process.  Otherwise users are likely to go out and report the same issue over and over again, with the assumption that the City mistakenly considers the matter fixed.

The 311 app is a great new tool, but it's not quite where it needs to be yet.

Olympic Cafe to Open New Location!

Post and photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

The Olympic Cafe has made a believer out of me.  I started off quite skeptical about their appeal to open for extended hours.  They've run a good enough business to alleviate many of my concerns, and every time I've been in there I've been treated well.  Olympic is also one of the growing number of eateries that is ignoring the stigma of the northside and will deliver.  Many fine evenings spent porch-sitting with friends have been saved when we could call Olympic and get several orders of gyros with extra sauce brought right to our doorstep.

In fact, Olympic has expanded their delivery service.  It used to be that you'd have to spend $20 or more to get delivery, but now smaller orders can be brought to you for a $2.00 charge.  Olympic Cafe is opening a new location on the northside, and the photo above was taken from my dining room window, in hopes that they'll come to Penn and Broadway.

Leslie Davis, Sign Spammer

Post and photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

I've only met perennial candidate Leslie Davis a handful of times.  His "Earth Protector" ideas range from possibly interesting to laughable to downright financially disastrous.  But the guy does know how to make a spectacle of himself at public meetings.  He's got chutzpah, and there's no denying that he can be entertaining.

That brazen attitude led to his placement of campaign signs on Hennepin County property.  The former Kowalski's site at 44th and Humboldt, now owned by the county, was sporting some Davis for Commissioner campaign signs.  That takes a special kind of guts.  Running for Hennepin County Commissioner and illegally placing your campaign paraphernalia on county property is a pretty brazen act.

Well others can be brazen too.  Since there was a polling place a half a block away, I took the liberty of removing the signs so that people wouldn't be influenced by them in any way.  On my bike ride home, I saw quite a few more Davis for Commissioner signs on telephone poles where they had no business being.  But I couldn't remove them because there was no trash bin nearby and the signs were too large to carry around on a bicycle.

Leslie Davis, you are a sign spammer.

Dirty Campaign Tricks Continue in 59B

Post and photos by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

Today voters in 59B received four mailers that all appear to be tied to the Raymond Dehn campaign.  One was from MAPE, another from AFSCME, and the final two from an entity called "Minneapolis Democrats for Truth."  Those two were blatant attack ads against fellow contender Ian Alexander.  It appears to me that these mailings were done by the same party or at least in overt coordination with one another.  There are several revealing factors that would hint at such a conclusion.  For instance...

The Big House on Hillside, Connected to THE Big House

Post and bottom photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman, top photo contributed.

The mansion at 1522 Hillside Avenue North has long been a gateway property with the potential to set the tone for the rest of one of the Northside's most picturesque blocks.  However, for the past several years, the house near the corner of Hillside and Irving Ave N has sat vacant.  1522 was carved up, from an expansive single-family home into an eight-unit rental monstrosity.

The locals along Hillside will tell you that after it went vacant, the place became a flophouse for transvestite hookers.  There are two ways to confirm that tidbit of information.  One involves reenacting scenes from "The Crying Game" or "Funky Cold Medina," and the other is achieved by reading the police reports and finding a statistical over-representation of men being arrested there.  I'm guessing the good people of Hillside went with the latter route.

Eventually that was shut down, and the empty home has been slouching towards demolition ever since.  It went into tax forfeiture, was transferred to the city of Minneapolis, and had a date with a bulldozer.  While utilities were being disconnected, a new benefactor approached the city and asked to purchase the house.  That person is...

311 App Already Delivers Results

Post and photo by the Hawthorne Hawkman.

On July 18 I made my first attempt at reporting graffiti using the new Minneapolis 311 smartphone app.  It did not go as planned.  Glitches with the Android operating system kept my report from being filed for ten days.  I was unable to upload the report for ten days.  The system successfully recorded my report of graffiti at the spot indicated above on the evening of July 28th.  By the evening of Friday, August 3rd, the violation had been abated.  So the city responded and took care of the problem in less time than it took for me to successfully report it.

Now if that same turnaround time exists when the bugs are complete, our city crews will be on par with Jimmy Johns sandwich deliveries.